Kathryn 的个人资料Katt's Place-hectic hou...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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5月28日 Natural squirrel and rabbit deterents Quick note for you gardeners. I've planted a rather large vegtable garden in my yard this year, and so far this has been a charm to keep the hoards of rabbits and squirrels out of my garden, and garden boxes. In my vegtable garden, I have a variance of garlic , onions and leeks surrounding the perimeter of the garden. Animals are not intersted in these, and tend not to venture futher. As well, cayanne pepper is sprinkled thoughout my garden and garden boxes. I'm almost at a full week now with no critters in my gardens, or boxes. Hope that helps you! The cayanne pepper will make you sneeze your face off though, so...be prepared for that small side effect! Maybe my veggies will have a bit of a bite as well, that is just fine with me!
Luv
Katt 4月24日 The year of the wasp I think we are in for a wasp filled year if your area looks anything like my street. They have just started nesting in the ground. You can spot the wasps nests mostly coming out from the ground by the large holes surrounded by a small mound of earth. They also can nest in area like under outdoor lights, in siding and in garden sheds. That being said, it is important to caulk these areas so they can not get in.
Wasp hunting must be done late night, or before sunrise early am. They all are in the nest sleeping then. You can buy the spray bombs speciffically for them at your local hardware store. Simply get the nest while they are at rest, and they won't attack and you will get them all. Never, ever squash a wasp. It gives off pheremones one has been killed to the hive and suddenly you'll have very pissed of wasps agressively trying to attack you. Simply move, swiping them may piss them all off as well. A natural way to catch wasps is a homemade or store bought wasp trap. They fly up into the funnel but, cannot fly down. They fly up in the trap for food. In early spring or very late fall that food is protein for building nests and laying eggs. Protein like cat food, hamberger, or fish. Rim the lip with meat them put a water soap mixture in the bottom. They fly in from attraction to the cat food, fall from exaustion into the water and soap. The soap covers there wings in such a way that they become imobile, and die. Check your traps often and empty them often, making sure they are clean. A wasp that gets away will tell the hive not to go near the traps. In the spring and summer, the attractant in the wasp catcher changes. The best one to use is red juice with extra extra sugar, and a couple drops of soap. Any juice with high sugar, and a couple drops of soap will do though.You can buy a wasp trap or make your own. Simply google "Homemade wasp trap". If you'd like to keep your honey bees for pollinating your gardens, simply put a teaspoon of vinegar in your mixture everytime. Honeybees will stay away from Vinegar.
So, what good are wasps? There job is to eat ground bugs. I think there will be an abundance of ground bugs this year, therego the massive amount of wasps. Keep your yard tidy of them, and your traps up and it will be easy to deal with. As well, do keep your traps AWAY from the areas in your yard you use most. And, keep them AWAY from the hive sites, as the scent of the hives are more alluring then the draw of the catchers.And, if you start your protein traps now, you may catch a queen, and if you catch a queen, the entire colony will leave your yard...They are smarter then you think, don't let them outsmart you!
Luv
Katt
1月2日 3 am the death hour.. I've come to a disturbing fact about myself I can no longer ignore. I hve a radio signal straight to the dead. This is the 1st time I've confessed this about myself and I'm unsure how people will handle this upon all my other faults falling short of the perfection of being a human being with fear of the lord and being normal.
I'd say that the signal of the dead hit me at about the age of 8. We lived in a haunted old farm house and I was the transponder in the incoming signals. I'm not ready to talk about that. What I do want to talk about is what is happening now. The house we currently live in has a spirit in it trying to reach me through electronic signals. We have had a lot of freaky occurences like for instance, one night I go to the most spirit charged room in the house... no sound in the TV, next day OK, James charges his phone and it goes off like a ring but no one is there, the blender goes on and off and modes do not work correctly, my high end electronic stove will not turn off and the fan in the downstairs bathroom will not turn on at times....this is ongoing...electronic mayahap...
The thing that is the oddist is I know why...before we even moved in.I could feel him and his pain, somehow, it was ok... I knew this was my place . 9 years ago this home was built and the man who put the most effort into the build killed himself..His name and the names of his children are etched in the garage where we park our boat..I feel him around me often.. When I was in Scotland in Edinburg in a castle upon the Royal mile I was called upon every night at 3am.. I would wake up to a whisper upon my ear that I was needed a simple "Kathryn....." the 2 nights stay 3 am I bolted up in my bed straight away to find out later tht 3 am uncanny was the death hour....the time of day the death call upon ther living..this is my curse...
I hope you can even read this as I publish it, as it seems words and letters are escaping the keyboard somehow... 11月23日 I've been bad... Very bad. I have not written here in a long time. So much has happened since we got married back on that sunny day in July. We went to Scotland and had a grand ole time. We landed in Glasgow, drove to Edinburg..then along the east coast cutting through the highlands to island hop on the West coast, landing in Oban to return to Glasgow over 13 days. We had a marvolous time, we really felt at home in Scotland. I stood on the grounds of my castle in ruin from 400 years ago, and felt at peace I had finally made it. We come from great lands, it makes us proud. We'd like to hit up Ireland and England next.
After returning from Scotland we where ramping up to move. We moved into the new home Aug 1 07. It's aprox 3 times the size of the old home with expansive gardens. We gutted the upper level of the house, and got 5 new appliances, and some new furniture. We are in love with the end result. I will post some pictures here. When we finished the inside work the outside work began. Today is the 1st day I haven't thought about pesky skattered leaves on the ground as the snow has come. With the leaves all gone we can see clear to the lake from the sitting room upstairs, bedroom and bathroom. I did find another Part time job I've been busy with as well, and now we are ramping up into Christmas. I do think the snow looks rather lovely but I miss my afternoon swims down by the lake. The trees are mature around here, and we are infested with birds and squirrels.
Luv
Katt 7月23日 Busy!!!!!!!! Really really still busy no time to chat! I'm packing up to move to the country!
Here are some wedding photos and Scotland was amazing!!
Luv
Katt 6月19日 STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!DR Who is back on the telly in Canada!! Anyone want to tape the episodes I miss while in Scotland??????????? :O(
I LOVE ME SOME WHO!!
Tell me what you think of the new side kick? I'm thinking ho hum compared to the last sweet muffin ROSE!
Luv
Katt
6月18日 Forgive me for my absence we've been really busy! Thank you for continuing to visit my blog, while I've been away! Comments are awsome. This new e-mail thing through spaces is cool too, if you want to chat, send me an e-mail I'll reply..
For the past week and a half I've been at the cottage where James and I are getting married, the ceremony will be directly on the water with a reception close by at an INN on the water. Both the ceremony and recpetion will be catered. Last week I was also getting fitted for my custom skirt I'm wearing with a corset. It is a long flowy skirt brocade finish, with a bit of a train..The corset is brocade as well and I'm wearin platforms. My ladies may be hotter than the bride as they are wearing red corsets with a sweet little skirt and platforms..did I mention the men are in Kilts? hee hee We are going to Scotland the day after we get married. We land in Glasgow at 5am ish..eek! We are driving to Edinburg for 2 days, then randomly going where we may roam for about 10 days..We're crazy like that!!
We sold our condo in Toronto. The time prior to being at the cottage I worked like a maniac with some help to remove 70 % of our furniture, paint the whole house a neutral colour and clean it like a hospital..So basically the end product was a new house. We had a professional stager come in and tell us how to set it up, and carpet cleaners in to clean the broadloom. The result of all that work was 2 competing bids, one ending over six thousand dollars above our asking price. If your selling, bring a stager in, it pays off, literally!!
We are getting excited about moving to our new home in the country come Aug 1 07. Still lots of time to enjoy the beach. We can see the lake from our front lawn. I will be doing a lot of work when we move in. We are living in the finished basement with all our stuff until I finish the upper level. I have to strip the walls of gawdy boarder and paint the entire space, and we are changing the flooring. So we'll have our own fresh walls and floors. We are also getting 3 new appliances. The ones left for us are so old we need to change them. When you pay for your own energy you become even more keen of energy efficency. So we are getting a new fridge, dryer and washer..Thank goodness we got more than we asked for with the condo!!!
I haven't forgotten about music in the wedding. James and I care so damn much about it it's retarded. We have 3 set lists for the wedding, one is dinner music, 2 are music through out the night, and we've also picked out all our Karaoke music!!
We are going to see Stevie Nicks this coming Friday, and are going to VIRGINFEST with Bjork, The Killers, Interpol, Smashing Pumpkins, Arctic Monkey and many many more good bands, it's a 2 day festival!! Come Sept..
I'll post some bachlorette photos soon, I think they explain themselves? LOL
Luv
Katt
5月21日 We didn't have quite enough going on...so we bought another house! We've bought a home in Innifil and take possession Aug 1 2007!!
Among being 4 times the size of our current home, having a back yard with a small forest in it, and beach club rights, it will be a welcome change to our lives, but we'll sure miss the city!
Luv
Katt 5月16日 Final Wedding song lists-Not including Karaoke!!Dinner Music ----------------------------------------- Sometimes-James Hounds of Love – Kate Bush The Boy-Smashing Pumpkins Long time gone- Crosby Stills and Nash Everyday is like Sunday-10.000 Maniacs Friday I’m in Love – The Cure I’m the one-Danzig Cupid De Locke-Smashing Pumpkins By My Side- Ben Harper There must be an angel- Eurhythmics While you sleep-Kate Brown and Chris Fenner Galapagos-Smashing Pumpkins Castles Made of Sand- Jimi Hendrix Diamonds on the soles of her shoes- Paul Simon
Sat night party music List # 1
Blue Moon-Cowboy Junkies (Our song) Annie’s Song- John Denver (Parents Song) At Last-Etta James (Grandparents song) Mama I’m comin home –Ozzy Osbourne (everyone’s slow song) Mint Car-The Cure Scarlet Begonia’s-Sublime ************Add this song Everybody got somebody to lean on-Travelling Willbury’s ************add this song My cat’s name is Maceo-Jane’s addiction Starlight-Muse Tide is High-Blondie Beautiful-Smashing Pumpkins Summertime-Janis Joplin Ferry Cross the Mersey-Gerry and the Pacemakers Ragdoll-Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons Rock this town-The Stray Cats The Passanger-Souxie and the Banshee’s *********Add this song in Nighttrain- G N R Can’t get enough of your love babe-Barry White Going up the country- Canned Heat Somebody to love-Jefferson Airplane Man in Me –Bob Dylan Into the Mystic-Van Morrison Wheuthering Heights-Kate Bush
Sat night party Set List # 2 Young Folks-Peter Bjorn and Paul Sometimes-James Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode I got you-Split Endz Need you around-Smoking Popes**********add me Here in your Bedroom-Goldfinger Common People – Pulp You shook me all night long – ACDC Don’t you forget about me- Simple Minds Lay Lady Lay-Bob Dylan Lost Together-Blue Rodeo Long as I can see the light- CCR Want you to want me-The Kinks Think about you-G n R A little help from my friends-Joe Cocker The Power of Love-Frankie goes to Hollywood Little Wing-Jimi Hendrix Dark Angel- Blue Rodeo Believe-Smashing Pumpkins
OUR CD”S FOR THE GIVE AWAYS ON TABLES WE ARE HOPING FOR 90 min CDS
James CD
Blue Moon- Cowboy Junkies ***# 1
Annie's Song- John Denver ****#2
Long as I can see the night-CCR***# 3
Man in me- Bob Dylan ***# 4
Can't get enough of your love babe-Barry White ***# 5
Everybody, Got Somebody to Lean on – Travelling Wilbury’s #6
The Boy Smashing Pumpkins *****# 7
Sometimes James**** # 8
I'm the one- Danzig ***# 9
Think about you-G n R****10
Need You Around – Smoking Popes. #11
Scarlet Begonia's-Sublime****#12
Mama I'm comin home-Ozzy Osbourne ***13
While you sleep- CB n KF***# 14
Lost together- Blue Rodeo****# 15
Katt’s CD
1.Wheuthering Heights- Kate Bush 2.Little Wing-Jimi Hendrix 3.The Power of Love-Frankie Goes to Hollywood 4.Going up the Country-Canned Heat 5.My Cat’s name is Maceo-Jane’s addiction 6.Mint Car-The Cure 7.The passenger-Souxie and the Banshees ********** 8.Rock this town- The Stray Cats 9.Enjoy the Silence-Depeche Mode 10.There must be an angel-The Erythmics 11.Don’t you forget about me-Simple Minds 12.Young Folks-Peter Bjorn and Paul 13.Starlight-Muse 14.Tide is High-Blondie 15.Summertime-Janis Joplin 16.Into the Mystic-Van Morrison
***I am pretty sure you burned THIS version of “The passenger” it has been sung by many people, if you do not have it by THIS artist, I can give you the CD to burn, although I’m pretty sure I gave that song to you already. Luv Katt n james
5月10日 Sorry folks I know I haven't posted here lately, and I'm sorry. I lost my job about 2 weeks ago, but I've been very busy. I was up at the cottage doing some wedding plans for a week, and I have a lot on the go. So much in fact, I've decided too not look for work until after the wedding.
Exciting things on the go..
May long weekend planting for the wedding
Putting together my entire ceremony
Sewing the skirt for my wedding
Hand painting the pots for the ceremony
Going through the 250 songs chosen for the wedding, whittling down the list and putting them for different formats, ceremony, dinner , and night before..
Picking out my karaoke songs
Planting the rooftop garden
June is Stevie Nicks with the parents at the Casino Rama
July 7th is the wedding we leave for Scotland on the 8th for 12 days..
September is VIRGINFEST at the TO Islands, featuring BJORK, The KILLERS, THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, INTERPOL, And the ARCTIC MONKEYS and many more good bands...2 day festival, check it out !! We paid 310 for 2 tickets, that's 2 days of crazy good bands! I can't wait...I've been hoping SP would get back together, and I've always wanted to see BJORK!
Check out the PB n J song (Peter Bjorn and John) song I have playing. They'll be at VIRGINFEST as well, and we are playing this song at our wedding! It's catchy! I see it as a chart topper!
SHIT stupid spaces, I can't post the song it's called YOUNG FOLKS
Luv
Katt 4月19日 Hockey Ottawa SENS Captain VS Toronto Leafs Captain For all of my UK readers, you really won't understand this, for all Canadians, here are the facts! Stop cheering for losers! Sorry my UK friends, we are crazy for Hockey like you are crazy for "football" . Playoff final rounds for the stanley cup started a couple weeks ago. My favorite team "The Ottawa Senators" are in the playoffs. Our rival "The Toronto Maple Leafs" did not make it. In fact, the Leafs have not won a Stanley cup since 1967! The SENS are stronger than ever this year, tonight's winning game (we hope) will bring us into the next round. We are sitting at 3 games won one over 1 game won by the "Pittsburg Penguins" in the eastern conference. If we get our four games, we are on to the next round! REALLY EXCITING!!! Plus, getting all 4 games in so quicky over Philly with the close to clean sweep victory will give our boys a bit of rest before the next round. So, tonight is really important!!!
Luv
Katt
From my DAD "May the best swede win"
Captain 2006-07 Season GM G A PTS PIM PPG SHG
GWG +/- Mats Sundin Regular 75 27 49 76 62 6 1 (Toronto)*** 3 -2 Play Offs n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a 6 over par Career Play Offs (9 of 15) 83 35 39 74 72 11 1 7 3 Daniel Alfredsson Regular 77 29 58 87 42 7 (Ottawa)*** 2 5 42 Play Offs 4 3 2 5 8 2 0 0 -1 Career Play Offs (10 of 10) 84 32 32 64 64 17 1 8 -2 4月18日 Birthday Gift from Dad I thought I'd share this with you. A gift from my Dad, better than crap from a store, or a kick in the pants! I do hope is useful for you as it was for me. Often, finding the root of your anger will help you solve the issue. More often that not, people are merely angry with symptoms of the root of an issue. Not to take away from the moral compass idea as Dad mentions here, I just think they fit well together.You need to find a direction, and a proper target.. We must strive to be a better person, every single day!
With the horrible events and senseless killings at Virginia Tech this week I thought long and hard about “why”. While it’s often easy to point fingers in the endless blame game of who should have done or did what, I was looking for something different. I was looking for a root cause and in doing so I began thinking about lessons I’ve learned from Masonry. I also searched for other tangible reinforcements in psychology forums until I stumbled across the article below.
I have seen the CSI (Las Vegas) episode this guy mentions in his piece below and as far as TV shows go, I believe the Grissom character is usually out of sync with popular thinking. This contrast is probably why the writers created such a character for a TV show that epitomizes the worst of today’s society; senseless killing and horrific crime. But the writer also explores Grissom’s quotable quote by arguing that along with a moral compass you require a “raison d’être”, a motivating factor to use it. This motivation is usually described as having a healthy “conscious” and today having a conscious is often characterised as some little gnome who sits on one’s shoulder and whispers into your ear, “No” or “Yes” (and usually NO) at the most potentially, “fun” time.
But I also believe that lessons of morality, learned in Masonry both in and away from the Lodge, help sharpen the resolution of that compass and motivate its owner. In “Short Talk” a portion of “Chapter I of Beyond the Pillars”, published in 1973 and copyrighted by the Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario it is explained that a new Mason, in the examination before his Passing, is told that Masonry is said to be "a beautiful system of morality, veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols." The article continues that, “While allegory and symbol play a prominent role in the Craft they are by no means restricted to it. Brethren who have a clear idea of how these devices work will find a deeper understanding of how Masonry operates and what it means”.
To these ends, maybe the times are ripe for increased interest in Masonry from those who do have or wish to own a well founded moral compass.
Moral Compass by ldsudduth
Last week at the end of CSI, the character of Gil Grissom had this line:
"A moral compass can only point you in the right direction. It can't make you go there."
I agree with that line. The compass will only point out the direction, but without the compass, how do you know which direction to go? With all of the problems in today's society, many critics are faulting the way society makes everyone blameless. To me, it seems pretty simple; we've removed any reference to any moral compass during the education process and substituted it with moral relativism. Morality is clear-cut in my life; you don't steal, you don't lie, you don't kill, etc. But, with the teaching of moral relativism in school, coupled with the 'belief' that we are all just the product of random chance (evolution), I feel that the majority of our problems stem from not having a moral compass reinforced in our children when the walk out of the door to our homes and enter the Halls of Learning. What else would explain the behaviour of society? We have become numb to the thought of suffering and death, because if I'm just a compilation of random events, then I truly do not matter at all.
How do we get back on track and align our future generations with a good moral compass to show them the right direction?
Love, Dad
September 14 2006
An idea from the Dalai Lama This week, I heard something exceptional from the Dalai Lama. He was on T.V live from Vancover BC for a "Happy night in Canada" Although I can't remember his exact words, here is what it left me with. Anger is an illusion. When you are right hopping mad, often the reason behind that ill temper, is unjustifyable. Before you blow your top, think, what exactly is the ROOT of the problem? Am I getting mad at something or someone my outrage is not intended for? Where is this fury coming from and am I overreacting? Often, if you look at the very root or seed of impatience, it is often something very frivolous. Life is to short to live out the deceptions of mis-guided anger..Take the time to ponder, where exactly the source is, and go after the source. Break it down, analize it, resolve it or, it will roll into more erroneous infuration, until it spirals out of control. There will always be consequences for your poor imprudent behavior. We where born critical thinkers, it's time to start using our brains again. Stop and THINK before you rage. This could save ALOT of us, and the dynamic relationships we hold in the world. This could make your life easier, it could make you a happy person.
As well, if you are the burden of an ill temper, don't carry it. Forgive, and truely forget, move on..Trust me, it's worth it!
Luv
Katt 4月17日 Tom Robbins- Skinny legs and all a book review Well Tom did it again, yet another book I love I have yet to be dissapointed. Often, people don't understand this mans abstract writing process but I certainly do.In fact, in recent memory I gave a couple books to someone and they thought I was totally insane to read his stuff, as they found it very difficult. The story is about and Arab, and a Jew who decide to open a resturant together, in order to show individuals it is entirely possible for these two races to get along. The restaurant is in fact, across from the UN building in NYC. Parts of the book also reflect on the history of the middle east, and a time where these races shared common interests and gods, when the wars started, and what the conflicts are all about today. It is a great insight on understanding the middle eastern conflict on a basic level. Robbins drops 7 veils that block our perception of the world. From there, we can ponder a different view on some very interesting topics that affect all of us. Some other characters in this book are; a painter who works at the restaurant "Issac and Ishmal" a lunitic preacher, turn around norman a street preformer, and comically a spoon, painted stick, sock and conch shell that become animate. I would suggest Robbins for anyone who has an abstract mind, with a healthy imagination. This is one of my favorite ones so far, I am going to book 6 "Half Asleep in Frogs Pajamas" once I've finished up an Oscar Zeta Acosta book "The revolt of the cockroach people" about the uprising in the 60's of the chicano movement in Los Angeles..stay tuned for that review.Oscar was good buds with Hunter S Thompson. Perhaps you remember him portrayed in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the movie? He was the lawyer?
I give this book a 5 out of 5 painted sticks!*****
One of my favorites thus far,
Luv
Katt 4月16日 Plastic drink cups bourbon and dirty smokers Well only one person managed to show up at my house before my "party" although I didn't have much of a party per say, I had a really good night. That's the way it goes sometimes, everyone shows up, sometimes, next to no one. I planned my night out this year for what I wanted to do, so of course I had a good time! I enjoyed 3 hours at the spa before I went out for the night, which was much needed. I was working on little sleep from the week and mentally exhaused like I've never been before.
We started the night out to go and see David Wilcox. I pulled a horrible boner, I've been to so many shows I should have known better. Tickets sold said doors to Jeff Healey's Road House opened at 9pm for the show. Every show I've been too has an opening act, this was not an exception. Although I could find no mention of an opening act, we endured 2 hours of a cover band. Although they did a good job of covering popular music on Q107's most played songs, I much more enjoy a band that has the balls to do their own music. I was pretty surprised that a Canadian Icon such as Wilcox had a cover band preform for them. The crowd was full of cougars. Not only cougars, but scum cougars. It was quite comical to see them get down with their bad selves. Wilcox put on an amazing show, I was one person behind the stage so I had a very good view. That man can still really rock even though he's over 50. He engaged the audience through his eyes, movement and rhythm of his body, that man can still jive ! That's right, this white boy has a lot of soul.. He easily incorperated one song into the next, and played some mean guitar solos. Every good guitarist I've ever seen plays like the guitar is simply an extension of their body. Wilcox, indeed plays as if he was born with a guitar in his hand. We had met up with some more friends at Wilcox and went to another party.
I've been invited to a couple of parties from this DJ friend of myne, but had'nt had the opportunity to go to any of his parties. He put on the host hat this time. It was at a loft in the city in an old warehouse, in fact his apartment, however it was transformed rather incredibly to an all night booze can. I've been to a few of these parties, they are always a good time as people really let loose. Normally the music pretty much drives me insane as it's crazy hyped up house music, this was more ambient and easier to grove to. It was great, in fact it opened me up to the realization there may be hope yet for this style of music. I should have expected that, James and I both tend to be drawn to people who really enjoy music. The space was amazing, tall ceilings, all open with only one stairwell to an open level where the DJ was and a lounge. There where couches set up there for comfort. The lower level was a bar at the back, and people dancing with wanton abandon. Apparently some of my friends friends are profesional dancers. There was a fellow there who took up the entire floor for a brief moment incorperating ballet with a modern swing and having a good old time taking the spotlight for a moment. It was wonderful to see people just being themselves, and the creativity was in the air. The loft was decorated like sheiks palace, it was pretty amazing. We got to talk to some new interesting people. I could really hang out with a lot of these people in future, because they are really not afraid to be themselves, or give a shit what people think about them. That's a lot like myself. Toronto is one of the few places on earth, you can bloom into the individual you've always wanted to be, this party was full of such people.
I was rather shocked as well being around smokers all night, that quite frankly it made me sick. The smell of smoking, and the people who smell like smoke is really not an attractive thing. I won't be a smoker hater, but it really is unpleasent once you gain your sence of smell back. I think, if you cold stop and gain your sence of smell back within a day, that may be motivation enough to quit.
Luv
Katt 4月13日 Well I'm pretty sure I lost a friendSomeone I was close too. It hasn't been the same lately, we fight like cats and dogs and cannot come to a resolution about anything, in fact, we find it hard to be nice to each other.The respect is gone, the consideration for each others feelings. I kind of saw it coming.Two major events stressful on us both planned around the same time we are heavily involved in, that we cannot really help each other out. Such a time, that you really count on your friend to be there for you.We have tried to make gestures, show up on occasion for support, but this is a time we both need each other. We haven't hung out in a long time, and when we do, it's just not the same, I tried, she tried, it's just not working..We are fuel for each others fire..It hurts a lot, because once we where really close, and I feel like I'm the only one that really cares it's over..Friends rarely last a life time but it always is so hurtful when you lose one. This could not come at a worse time for me, I am weak , and very tired. I haven't slept in seven days since I've quit, you think she'd see that and try to save it, but it's not going to happen..Instead I must be strong, and try to remember no matter what life passes you, no one knows how to really love you but yourself. katt 4月12日 Wierd dreams are spinning in my head, last night they changed to a nightmareLast night, again I couldn't sleep I layed my ass in bed at 10 pm actually fell asleep around 1230- 1 am. This is the hardest thing for me not smoking. It's not that I want a ciggy, my head just won't slow down for sleep..we've all been there. So I grab my book to finish it, "Skinny Legs and All" by Tom Robbins. I can't even see the words at first, my eyes can't focus and are sore from 6 nights with odd dreams and late nights..I thought I'd finish up the book rather than watching the boob tube to do a book review for you today. I've decided to tell you instead about my dream...If you think that a book I just finished sounds queer where main characters are a mobile he/she spoon,old sock, painted stick, and can o beans ..Read on, my dream was downright alarming. After I finished up Tom Robins book I looked at the next book I'm starting Oscar Zeta Acostas "Revolt of the cocroach people" I read the foreward by Hunter S Thompson, which was hillarious and put my head to rest. As closed my eyes not yet sleeping, images popped in my head. The book I'm getting into has some large cocroach cartoons, which where popping up meshed in with other stuff.. Are you familiar with the scene in Pink Floyd's the wall where the flower is in bloom? Yeah, my mind is even more unearthly.. It spins pulses and moves back and forth as well, almost like I'm in a big wooden barrell flying off the cliff of Niagara falls or something in a decompression chamber..with images scattering around in there too..
The dream
I am married to James, we live in a nice back split house, the back of the house is quite large with a huge sliding glass door out back. It is summer, hot sticky, the air conditioner is on the fritz, I wake up in a sweat pool.. I am panicing, as if doom is looming in the corner, grinning at me.. I look over at the clock, I am almost 2 hours late for work..I jolt up and plop my feet firmly on the ground, groaning ..I think to myself..I just got this job three weeks ago, I'm so happy without the stress of working a regular job. I love this new job in that coffee shop with the polite people who are all really good friends, I hope I don't get fired..And , I am fired to get going... my heart, is pounding, I feel it in my throat..
I look up into the hallway for the pets, why has Marmy not been around? MEarrowing to awake me? He is consistant, like clock work.. Where is the dog, who normally sleeps stuck to my side all night? James is away, it's over two hours past Lucy's feeding time, that fat cat never lets me get away with not feeding her, why did she not walk over my face this morning??I miss James when he's away on business.. I slug myself out of bed finally..
I look into the hall, and there on the floor is a dark, furry object. I'm anxious again, I pick it up, to see it is Lucy's hind leg..Tonka, all of a sudden goes apeshit and is barking up a storm. I look around frantically for the other part of my dear Lucy, with tears in my eyes..I spot her, oddly, she is jumping around, and acting like a kitten, highly playful!!! I scoop up my Lucy in one arm, and Tonka in the next and dash out the door... I must make it to my vets, an animal cannot survive very long from blood..loss???She is not bleeding from her leg?? I look at the stump, and it's seared like the hottest of Hates touched her for a milisecond, and the only affect is a lost leg, with a blackened but oddly clean? Break..I rush out the door, in my PJ's in search of a cab..As I step outside there are buildings surounding me, I am in NYC odd? That in the midst of my santuary is a busy dirty city..As I round the corner of my house, I see my friend Derek. "Derek what are YOU doing in NYC?" " I live here now" odd, I think..I glance up quickly to the building I see him come out of, on a window just above me is a moving brown window.. I look more intently, it is covered in cocroaches bigger than I've ever seen.. I hold back my stomach from convulsing all over the city street..I manage to keep it together.." OH MY GOOD GOD!" I scream, look at that! The cocroaches about the size of a june bug have protruding nasty looking pinchers as well... "Derek look at that! " my finger extending to the window.. " I know I live there.."he remarks rather calmy. "Are you going to take care of that? " I say.. "Yes, I have exterminators coming in today.." he says smoothly... Then I remember as my arms get tired, I am cluching onto two animals.. "I've got to go" I say. I start to pass him he grabs my arm firmly" Wherever your going, your in a rush, I will take you there..." I am a bit startled by him somehow, against better judgement I get in the car.. We start to go to the vets, all of a sudden he changes direction..I keep asking him to stop, he is totally zoned out, staring only straight ahead...He pulls off finally, into a residential neighbourhood..I go to get out of the car, I cannot the doors are locked, not only that but I cannot see the locks...."I'm hungry, I need to feed..." my heart is thumping..he is leaning into me as if to kiss me.. "GET AWAY FROM ME " I yell.... His mouth opens, out come running these cocroaches I saw in the window, than, I see a long dark thing come from inside him.. He displays long pinchers...Tonka is going insane barking frantically...He bites him just as the pinchers open up to ingest me..Derek is disoriented..now is my chance, I see a remote lock for the doors on his side, with Tonka still afixed to his face I lean over him and punch the button, then get out of the car, ripping flesh from his face as Tonka is locked jawed on him .. I dash..as fast as I can.. but Derek is fast in my footsteps..He is moving,or rather scurrying as a cocroach does, swerving back and forth, I go to the first house nearest, I slam on the door.. I see a lady peering at me through glass tall in the door.. " Let me in! I have animals in trouble, and I'm in danger!" Oddly, she does, I get in and bolt the door shut.. I turn to talk her.. " I have no time to explain we have to get out of here! " A dull thud is on the other side of the door. "Why ?" She says with a deep European accent. "Do you want to die? LOOK! " I say, Derek is eating his way through the door.."What..." "I have no time to explain! Do you have a car garage?" " Right here ..she points to a door just to the right of us..
"Get your keys, let's get the hell out of here! " I scream.....
Just then, James wakes me up.......to reality
I find myself clutching the dog in one arm, and a pillow in the other.....
I gave Lucy and Marmy extra special pets and rubs this morning..WOW what a dream!
Luv
Katt 4月11日 YEAH! I made it to day 5!Can anyone tell me when this will get easier? LOL
I still get massive cravings, but I've been a very good girl indeed! I am having a hell of a time sleeping because I have enough energy to climb everest, and of course I am a tad touchy, however focusing on the fact I have more energy and oddly eating less??
I am doing quite well indeed, I have to take Tonka for a long ass walk tonight for sure, even though I haven't slept well in five days, and VIVD dreams???WOW.. I have energy to burn...my lungs felt better on day 2, it's only getting better, and I was only a half pack a day smoker! For too damn long, though...time to stop this habit..
Luv,
Katt
PS: I picked out a Sabbath tune last night for my music CD it's not war pigs ( song playing)..GAWD I love that song! Can you guess what it is? hmmmmm?? what Sabbath tune could you possibly play at a wedding? hmmmmmmmmm? Thanks for your help Mkey, and your patience James, in starting the wedding music up! James picked out a Maiden tune it has the word "Heaven" in the title, any guesses? hm?
hee hee 4月9日 Day 3 no ciggys.. I've quit smoking cigs for three days, conclusion, I need a smoke! LOL
But in all seriousness, it's tough.I am on the patch, so I am assisted, however the first 2 days the patch did not help me a lot to not want a smoke, I still had huge cravings.Removing all the ashtrays from outside, lighters from my view, and smelling up my house and body really fragrently helped. I do really want to quit this time, for good. It's been a long time coming to the point where I wanted to quit again, about 12 years in fact , but I want this for more reasons than I want to continue to smoke so there you have it. The cliches really do seem to be true, you have to want to quit, and the habits are the hardest to break. I've decided even if I do fail, I will get right back on that horse again so to speak, and as James says "Don't give up the good fight"..The thing that is most annoying is I can't drink much anymore. Last night I slugged back a tall Bombay Saphire Gin and Tonic and wanted a butt..The good thing is I seem more anxious and ready to burn steam (wink wink nudge nuge say no more! say no more!) I also went for a very long walk with Tonka yesterday. My dreams are INSANE and I have a very hard time sleeping as well.James said something about I'd be proud to be a non-smoker, I replied "I will always be a smoker who isn't smoking today..."
You see, about 12 years ago I quit for 4 months, had ONE SMOKE and it was over! One day at a time, I hope I can do it! I don't want to be smokin at my wedding!!
Luv
Katt 4月5日 NEWS what we've been up to.. Well you won't believe it, a couple weeks into spring and it's snowing! I have known why here in Ontario we do not start planting for summer until the May 24 long weekend, global warming my ass! I was very dissapointed to put the winter coat back on.. We've pretty much have everything planned up for the wedding, we've been working lately on music. We've rented the largest Karaoke system availible for the wedding. I get to pick out all the CDG's I want with the rental so that's pretty good. Did you know I'm a karaoke whore? Well I am, in fact I'm not to bad at singing, my range is very odd, I can either sing extremely high, or extremely low, I don't do well with mid-range singing ? For example I love singing Blondie and Id say "Heart of Glass" is one of my standards. I also love singing The Doors, and the Stones, yes totally random. Someday, I'd love to try with a live band! I am not the only singer/karaoke whore in my bunch of friends, so the mic will be a rockin.. In fact there are a lot of ex KJ's(Karaoke Jockies) so we are not hiring one. We are also making up CD's to give away. One from me, one from James.. You can see a list of some of the music I'm choosing there is more,that is just MY list of music James has one as well. I will post the final list when we are done it. I have to whittle it down.. as well I'd sure like to hear if you have any other suggestions. We are basically going to have a set list on a computer, and switch back and forth from Karaoke to music all night. We absolutely detest typical wedding crap music, so we are not hiring an annoying DJ/KJ ..It will be a multi person task of handling the music and Karaoke all night..
And, NO COWBOY music! WHEW! "Our song" is playing in my player, so turn up your speakers.. It is called "Blue Moon Revisited" by "The Cowboy Junkies" an awsome CDN band..It's a remake from the 50's do whop version without the do whop.. We where thinking of doing "Hasen't hit me yet" by "Blue Rodeo" but, we heard it at another wedding recently, so it's out! As we are Canadian, we pretty much wanted "Our song" to be by a Canadian artist. Tell me what you think..it has a very hollow sultry feel to it, as it was recorded in a church here in Toronto, in fact the entire album "The Trinity Sessions" was recorded there. We listen to that album very often. The old city church has amazing acoustics for recording, maybe better than abby road? I doubt it, but... hee hee
Luv
Katt
PS: Isn't my schmoopies hot as fuck? He's on the far left in this pic, this was another wedding party he was in last summer, Whoooa boy, he's been in a lot of wedding parties lately! The groom in this pic (middle white shirt and vest) will be in a kilt as well.. hee hee
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